I hope that this blog is a place of peace and hope for you. I appreciate the opportunity to be a vessel of the messages that the universe asks that you receive. I hope that most days I get it right. That this speaks to the spark in your heart to ignite and come forth. To force it through all of the fear and crap that our scared self tells us to stop us from the things that make our heart lighter.
Lately has been a time of reflection and introspection as I walk this journey. I think and then I manage to over-think some more, but maybe it saves some of you the trouble :). I’ve learned a very powerful lesson over this journey thus far, and though it may have stung in the beginning the sting has lessened over time.
I have been blessed with the opportunity to be a realist – not every battle is mine to fight. I used to want to stop for every broken wing in the world that I met. I’d stop and sit down on the road of life. Every pain felt like my own. Every struggle felt like my own. In the beginning of my life (especially my young love life) I was the one that felt the urge to caution everyone against drowning. To jump in and grab the back of every drowning man’s shorts, all the while missing the fact that their panic was filling my lungs with water. I have learned over this journey that I can’t be the lifeguard for everyone.
I mistakenly thought that if I willed them to end their panic, to come to the surface, to breathe deep and free it would happen. If I gave them the small push of structure, money management, hope, confidence, admiration (insert positive life affirmation here), it’d spark the life and potential in them and they’d be off to the races. I spent a number of years telling myself that and refusing to hear any differently, despite the fact that all signs pointed to the contrary.
Ok, maybe contrary is the wrong word, but I’ve learned that I can be a better example to others, not by yanking them out of their funk, but by walking on in my purpose and life. By spreading love. By walking tall and strong, even when I don’t feel like it or am unsure if I am doing it right. And so, today I will try my best at that. I will throw the life rafts as I feel the universe’s pull to do so – a kind word, a moment of suggestion of direction, a smile or an extra sandwich. A blog – or ten. I will listen and answer, because, it is what I was made to do and am more than happy to do it. I may not always get it right, but I will put in the blood, sweat, and tears to work it until I do. I will take direction and give direction as open mindedly as I can – and attempt to grow the love no matter what stands before me. This time, I won’t be tossing the people in the life raft. They will have to be the one to grab it.