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So, I’ve done it.  For one of the first times in my life, I have officially done something without trying to bargain.  Without caving to fear or indecision or laying in bed counting the ways I’d love to tweak the situation.  To give myself a safety net or made it more comfortable by bringing a friend or two. I’ve come  to learn something I’ve always known but now the haze of cynism and disbelief has been put to rest.  There is a great quote about the suspension of disbelief and I can tell you that it is powerful. Once one can realize just because a truth is scary doesn’t make it untrue, it allow you to fully step into the destiny that is yours. 

You see, we all have a destiny to something greater than what we are probably doing today.   You were not a fluke.  A mistake. A one off or all of the other horrible thing that your mind might tell you.  You have far more value than others might acknowledge because of the insecurities that scream at them.  I used to be driven by my insecurities and stress.  To spend what felt like hours..who am I kidding…days going over how much I sucked.  How badly I was doing at this whole thing we call life.  For each of us, the drain of destruction stems from a different genesis – our parents, our love lives, our addiction to food (eating and/or not eating it), beverages  (one for a good time or 10 to forget this time). Our addiction to helping others fix their shattered lives so we don’t have to fix our own.  We become obsessed by the fact that we are failing at the giant test of life or that the whole place and plan is so spiderweb thin that it might fall through at any moment. We must control everything to control chaos.  To mitigate the damages before they hit.  The irony of the thing is that those catostrophic things hit anyway.  And because I was wound up like a rubber band at the edge of it’s limit the damage was always deeper and greater than it should have been That was me.

And then something happened…I decided to suspend my disbelief.  To have faith, because I already knew and know He loves me. In that Love, there will be tests and trials.  I still won’t get all of the jobs I apply for.  I won’t always be able to pay every bill right on time.  I will never have anything handed to me on a silver platter and everything will be earned as a testament to the strong woman He created me to be.  I will still be a bit broken but I won’t live in the wounding of that.  Am I  Flawed? Totally.  Do I still cry at a things that take me back to the girl I was – almost everyday (much to the chagrin of the bestie).  Am I sometimes bold and big-mouthed? Absolutely, but it’s what makes me take up the platform of here to give you these messages of Hope, Love, Worth and Value.

God does not bargain.  He requests and sometimes more loudly than others.  But he does so out of Love and Joy and the determination to call you into the greatness he has created you for.   And in your obedience, He makes you a promise — to catch you when you fall as long as you promise to try again.  And so here I am with my disbelief firmly in the “Suspend” position and hoping you will come along. 

Just think of the impact that Hope, Love and Joy on the world if we all operated in it.  If we stopped cowering in the “I need help AND I am not worthy of it” position that the Darkness wants you to be crippled by.  YOU, as you read this, need to know you are a being fashioned out of LOVE, CARE AND COMPASSION.  YOU MUST NOT LOSE THAT AS THE WORLD OF DARKNESS CLOSES IN AND ATTEMPTS TO MUTE THE VOICE OF PURPOSE.  We all have a call to greatness…What greatness is meant for you? And what the heck is stopping you?

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