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Long, long ago in a far off land…no, no who knows but it sounds good as a start right? :).  Anyway, HE who designs and plans everything (at least according to me and lots and lot of other people) while designing the parts that would be and now are me, installed a “writers chip”.  As such, I seem to be lucky enough to be moderately good at it and certainly enjoy it.  I wrote this poem back in 2009 and for some reason it has been on my heart to post it here.  So here it is….

God’s Intended Mirror
I’ve spent my life looking in the mirror
They’ve hung with quiet determination
Stopping me in my tracks
For that wrinkle, That blemish
They’ve chased me down the alleys of my mind and heart
Distorting who I am
Yet convincing me
I am the one who must be wrong
Dishonest with myself
They’ve been shoved in my face
Forcing me to see my “faults”
According to others
Ive had to swallow them to contain the burn
I’ve in anger sat before one
In the cold dungeon of my half dead soul
No interest in saving myself
I’ve told myself that was the “real mirror”
The one that only showed
My faults
My cracks
My inconsistently consistent self torture
I sat in my cell
Intended to emotionally rot
My back against the wall
Listening to the drops of my tears
The beat of my heart
Reminding me
Of it’s steady erosion
The door cracked one day
You stood in its wide mouth
And I could see the Son
Sneaking a furtive smile at me
You sit as close as you can
You reach for my hand
I flinch, and you soothe me with your eyes
You place something cool in my palm
“Look” you say.
I look over and instead of seeing the
Dirty
Broken
Me
I see a girl whose faults are falling away
Beauty appears
I disappoint no one
I fail no one
I am finally enough
I am finally
Free
 
***
Here’s hoping everyone in our lives finds that time,place, or person that helps them to feel “free”.  If you are like me, it isn’t a constant state, and sometimes it’s an uphill battle, but the hope is that it is more common than uncommon.
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