The other night, I wrote about Toxic People and how their words poison us. They slowly kill us off one jaded, biting, comment at a time. Many of them don’t even realize that they are doing it because they are so knee deep in their own self hatred. Or perhaps they do realize it and are barely clinging to the reality that they are so busy hating, that they figure, “Heck, let’s just take someone down with me”. Truthfully, I think if we ask my mom about the whole thing she’d more than likely get an incredulous smile and say that it never happened. The irony in her comment is she directly demonstrates her gift simply in saying that. It’s the game of make the other person feel crazy. Or stupid. Or both.
It was because of her knack for doing this, largely, that I almost missed my purpose in life. I’m grateful that the sparkle that God put in me was so strong it refused to go out and hung on like the little engine that could. Even when I could no longer feel it, it refused to abandoned me. Thank gosh it is far more tenacious than other parts of me that often have struggled to weather the storm of the world and expectation. Of cruelty and self doubt.
Ok, perhaps the assertion that my mom aimed to kill off my purpose rather is a bit melodramatic, but she definitely did aim to suppress it, either consciously or subconsciously. Strangely, as I sit to pen this entry, I am shown so many fairytale stories — that infamous moment from Wizard of Oz with Dorothy and the poppy field. Snow White and the apple. Sleeping Beauty and the finger prick. All of these “sleeps” are enacted by a darker force that aims to hold them captive and apart from their greater destiny.
Think about of it, it times of depression or anxiety many people literally sleep the day away. They hibernate from the sadness and pain, hoping that one nap at a time they will get closer to just surviving this and reaching the end. Anything is better than the torture of the life that you may currently be living in. Perhaps life feels like you are taking one burning breath at a time. How sad that this such a common occurrence in the world. And more often that people inflict it on each other. It doesn’t have to be a parent either. Maybe it’s the bully at school, the super-picky-boss-that-finds-everything-wrong no-matter-how-hard-you-try, the neighbor who always comments on how much better his/her house than yours is.
Not sitting with you, I can’t tell you who your purpose-stealer is. I CAN however do this. I am your official alarm clock of love to awaken that purpose in you. Ultimately, the same elixir awakens all whether you are Dorothy, Snow, Sleeping Beauty or YOU. LOVE. God put that purpose there for a reason. He did not intend for it to go silent. He feels that you are the one to carry out THAT PURPOSE. There are not two of you, so you do not have the luxury to sit back and do nothing. The fact that you are here reading this…too late…you have been officially called out. WAKE UP! Take it from a girl who KNOWS, haven’t you been asleep long enough?